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Keys To Friendship

In Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements, page 67, he presents the following truth:

In any kind of relationship, we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don't have to say what we want. We assume they are going to do what we want because they know us so well. If they don't do what we want, we feel hurt and think, 'How could you do that? You should know.'

His words have meaning to me.

Everybody needs friends. We are social creatures, we love to gather and communicate. We love to share.

Some people have many friends; some people have few. Well, those that think they only have a few are probably mistaken and have more than they realize.

Of the friends that people make, most are genuinely caring in the relationship. I suppose one could find ways to alienate friends by accident or intentionally. Sometimes the wrong words with the right intentions causes friends to question continuing the commitment.

I have some close friends who are able to handle the emotional intensity I bring to the relationship. Of these close friends past and present, only a few possess what I would call intuitive understanding of my nature or an affinity for my Spirit's presence.

Many other friends of mine require more space because the association calls for their increased distance from my heart. The balance in numbers between close and not-so-close friends seems to be a constant throughout my lifetime.

In either case, I am as good as friend as I can be. At times I make mistakes. When I do I try to rectify the omission and apologize if necessary. Sometimes I stay away awhile because that is the best thing to do for healing.

Knowing another person is always a matter of degree. Each relationship requires an on-going tailor-made adjustment throughout life.

My keys to friendship are these:

  1. Be open and honest with each person
  2. Give more than I receive in exchange
  3. Listen more than I talk
  4. Keep their confidential information to myself
  5. State openly, my intentions to the widest possible audience
  6. Follow through and keep my promises made
  7. Forgive people as soon as possible
  8. Learn from others and teach where it is requested
  9. Keep those that have passed on in my heart
  10. Pray for those that need it

As of August 4, 2002, this page is also available for download as, Keys To Friendship (3.2 MB pdf). Enjoy this rare format.


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